I remember the day I got my first cell phone. It was the first day of the fifth grade, and I could barely sit still because I was incredibly excited. That day was eight years ago. In the past years of owning a phone and discovering the internet and social media, I’ve noticed something: The way we communicate drastically changed. Instead of walking up to someone’s house and asking if they had time for me, I had the opportunity to text my friends. I like the idea of texting. It’s a quick, easy and fun way to communicate. After texting I discovered the internet and social media. To me, these things were entirely new. The internet seemed like a magical place where you could find new friends and learn everything you’ve ever wanted to know. In my perception, social media was a platform where people could share what they like and find others with common interests.

I increasingly started spending more time on my phone and on the internet. Instead of calling people I would text them because it’s more comfortable, and you don’t have to reply right away. I would spend days watching YouTube videos. I started going outside less and less and didn’t have a real hobby apart from being on my phone. But one day, I realised I had a problem. I read an article about social media and the way it is constructed. Social media is designed and conceptualised in a way that evokes addiction. After reading that article I wondered, is this affecting me? The answer was yes. The internet did change my friends and me. Instead of meeting up and talking to each other, we would sometimes just sit there in silence and be on our phones.

Was I addicted? Absolutely. The idea of leaving my house without my phone in my hand seemed impossible. On a day to day basis, I interacted with people via texting and social media, which is drastically different from actually talking to someone. I realised that I had forgotten how to have a conversation! Today, one of the first things I notice about a person I meet is whether they can have a regular conversation without checking their phone. Sadly most of the time, the answer is no. I feel like lots of people from my generation have forgotten how to talk to someone because we are just not used to having conversations in real life.

Another problem I had to face was that I had forgotten how to live in the moment. When using social media, it is incredibly easy to simply focus on how many likes you get and the version of yourself you want to present to the world. I wasn’t able to enjoy things such as hiking with my family, because I wanted the perfect shot for my Instagram profile, and my mother didn’t take a flattering picture of me.  From time to time, ask yourself: am I having fun, or am I just showing people I’m having fun?

If you want to spend less time on your phone and learn how to have a proper conversation, I have a few pieces of advice for you:

1. I want you to ask yourself this simple question: am I able to spend a day of my life without my phone? No? In that case, taking a temporary or complete break from social media might be an excellent idea for you. Just log out of your accounts or delete them entirely. Most of the time you don’t even realise how much time you spend on your phone. Taking a break from social media and limiting the time you are using your phone will cause you to understand how much time you have in a day. Whether you use that time to catch up with friends in real life, be productive or start a new hobby is entirely up to you.

2. If you mostly communicate with people via email or text messages, try to have more conversations in real life. Try to go on dates with people without stalking their social media first. The beautiful thing about having conversations is that the more often you talk to people, the easier it gets and the more confident you become. Listen to what the other person is saying, don’t take out your phone and form a real connection.

Even though it seems incredibly hard at first, try live at the moment. Do something exciting and don’t post about it on social media. Be present and mindful. You are on this earth for a reason, and you just have this one life. Live it to the fullest and make real memories, because you won’t remember all the time you spent on your phone.

Do you agree with what I said? Do you have any more tips? Feel free to share your thoughts with me in the comments!

Elena Diehl