The following story was created by Laura Bastianini (2004), Liceo Sesto Properzio di Assisi/Italy, Svenja Prantl (2005), Gisela-Gymnasium München/Germany, and Giulia Valente (2004), Liceo Sesto Properzio di Assisi/Italy,

as part of the trait d`union online workshop “The fight against discrimination and the discussion on how to” between editors from Liceo Sesto Properzio di Assisi/Italy and Gisela-Gymnasium München/Germany in March 2022.

For the use of the photo, we thank you at Pixabay.

While looking around the old boxes in the attic, I found a huge light blue case, in which my mum used to put all the family memories of when my brother and I were children. I opened it right away and the inside was full of photo albums, letters, drawings, toys and video tapes, so nostalgia occurred. There were pictures at the sea, on the Alps, at Christmas, on my dad’s fishing-boat and even at the National Air and Space Museum in Washington! I still remember the feeling I had when I saw a spaceship closely for the first time at ten years old: amazement, ambitiousness, curiosity. This was the beginning of my passion for space and everything that concerns it, so my bookshelf was filled with books about stars and planets and miniatures of space shuttles. As I grew up, the only certainty I had was that I wanted to become an astronaut in the future, but I also knew that it would have been a difficult path to take. In a male-dominated world, how could a little girl become so important that she could literally see the entire Earth’s population from above? How could she have the privilege of exploring what until then only a few women have had the opportunity to see? How could she become equal to a man?

I was stubborn, confident and clever, but these questions flowed through my head like a whirlwind and I couldn’t do anything to stop thinking about them. I often felt inferior and imagined I wasn’t able to make my dream come true.

Those fairytales and narratives I used to love told me I could be everything I wanted to be, but as time went by, I started to question whether that counted as well for someone like me: a girl.

Turning the page of the old photobook, all my former feelings and fears seemed surprisingly present again. I could feel a knot in my throat, but something caught my attention: there was a yellowed picture of my first day of school showing a very intimidated version of myself. I still remember how I couldn’t sleep the night before because of how nervous I was… Suddenly a tiny detail in the background, the blurry part of the image, caught my eye and I was able to spot a familiar figure: The girl who sat down next to me later on and became my friend. It was on that same day when she asked me curiously, who I wanted to be when I was older. As you can imagine, I explained very passionately and in detail how I would be a famous astronaut one day. But to my surprise she didn’t like my idea at all. “Isn’t that something for boys? Well, I want to be a teacher…”, she replied. Even though it was only a comment from a friend, it really made me doubt. At least she was completely honest with me. It happened many times when I told adults about my plans, that there was always that significant moment of silence. Then they would try to talk me down and suggest me to do something else that would suit me better. Really me or rather my gender? It made me consider whether it was a stupid idea when I was only a 6-year-old. So I started copying their ideas, but nevertheless it was never right. A hairstylist – Not ambitious enough. A nurse – you will be working all the time, what about family? A lawyer – You won’t find work, you’re not confident enough. Fashion designer- Come on, don’t you want to do something more serious? No matter what I chose, it was never enough to please their idea of a woman.

As I grew up, the prejudices of those people who thought that they could have a say about what I wanted to become in my life intensified. I continued to browse the pages of the album, when I came across a series of pictures taken at the University. I truly loved to study aerospace engineering, but those large classrooms were the site of the worst sexist episodes in my entire youth. On the foreground of the photo, I recognized a little bald man, who unfortunately ended up being my astrophysics professor. I`ve always looked up at teachers, although I can`t say that the same respect was given to me... I was minding my business at the end of two tiring hours of explanation about black holes, trying to organize my notes. Everyone had already left the class, apart from me and Mr. Thompson. It wasn`t uncommon for students to stay a few minutes inside with the teacher, even to ask some further clarification, but that time felt completely different. He came towards me and started to make some weird jokes about my body that made me so uncomfortable.

"You`re such a beauty. Why would a gorgeous girl like you be stuck here studying and become a stressed aerospace engineer? If you were a model, I would watch your fashion shows for hours. You` re still in time to change your mind”, he said.

I was so confused that I couldn`t immediately think about an answer, but l trembled as soon as I felt his hands on me. This was the moment to act, I had to protect myself and my dignity. I got up, packed up my things and said: "Why would a gorgeous girl want to accomplish what an obtuse, disgusting and shortly unemployed man told her to do? And why wouldn`t she report what just happened to the university chancellor? I hope you`ll see me on TV for hours, while I get on a NASA space shift.”

I left the room and he replied with a threat that I didn`t even hear. Afterwards I fled to the chancellor`s office and he listened to me, thankfully. The day after, as I entered the class, Mr. Evans, a new teacher, was introducing himself. I have always been so grateful to him.

So, I experienced men believing they could easily harass me, use me for their joy just because of the way I presented my femininity and it was simply disgusting. But over the years I noticed that the origin of the problem already lay in the smaller and very daily things I was almost used to: My fellow students excluding me from deep-topic conversations because it was supposed to be too complicated for me to understand. The fact I had to work twice as hard for the audience my male colleagues ultimately got when entering a room. People being sure about my needs without even ever asking me- happening in politics just as in my direct surroundings. Women`s body being objectified and portrayed as something existing to please others gaze. Not to mention the truth I and so many others still earn less money compared to a man in the same position. All these things being normalized and accepted because if you didn`t do so, you would be seen as complicated and exaggerating. And yes, to add that at this point, I am able to park a car correctly! Saying it shortly: The disrespect a woman in our society receives.

It drives me mad and makes it sometimes easy to hate the whole world. Still, that`s not how I feel about my life. Yet I have experienced how unfair it can be, how deeply filled with prejudice and difficulties making it hard for everyone not as privileged. But there has really been progress, things are moving forward, in the right direction. Thanks to many brave people women’s situation has improved so much in the last century and I`m grateful for those developments. Thinking about my favorite movie "Hidden figures" the circumstances for me are way better now because women like them have already evened my path. Nevertheless, I have to admit I am also privileged to some extent. My skin tone just as living in the US, a quite progressed country, allow me possibilities others don`t enjoy - the fight for equality isn`t over yet.

I sighed and turned the last page feeling the old and raspy paper under my fingertips. All these pictures connected with so many memories, it almost overwhelmed me. The good as well as the bad moments seemed so present again. Though experiencing my journey for another time also filled me with pride about everything I had achieved so far, I bet also little me on those pictures would be very contented. But…what was that? Suddenly an insistent noise swept away the silence and interrupted my thoughts. I could hear a ringing getting louder and louder from across the room. Maybe it would be an option to just wait? Wait until it stops and pretend I wasn’t there? But instead, I decided to leisurely get up the coach and search for my phone. Whoever was calling me right now better had a good excuse!

“Good evening” – astonished by the voice of my boss on the other side of the Iine I replied: “Hello, what`s the matter? Has something bad happened, an emergency? Or did you just get the wrong number?”

“No, I meant to call you, Miss. Nothing that horrible, though it`s really urgent. Do you remember the NASA mission taking place in a few weeks?”

Indeed, I did, it was only a few months ago when I applied to participate but got rejected because other candidates had already gained more experience. “Yes?” I gave back, more a question than an answer.

“Well, sadly one of the astronauts caught an illness and therefore can’t compete. That`s why I suggested you could cover his place instead. I mean, practically you’ve got the qualifications and would be the right person for this job. The only problem is that the training camp starts in half a week, so it`s quite short-term…

For a moment I couldn’t move. I heard my heart beat really fast. What was he trying to tell me again? Still, I couldn’t realize his words when it suddenly hit me: My dream was going to come true, very soon I would see our world from above and be so close to the stars I always admired from afar and Mr. Thompson would watch me getting on a NASA shuttle from the TV!  Happiness fulfilled every cell of my body when I screamed proudly: “Yes, of course I want to!”